... I don't always find mindfulness beneficial
But I teach this stuff, right? I do indeed, and I passionately believe it's good for you. I've read all the scientific research regarding the benefits and genuinely believe we need it in our busy lives. However, as my own mindfulness coach said today: "You could have a Phd in mindfulness, it doesn't mean you 'practice' it. The benefits are in doing it, often. Like brushing your teeth. You just know it's good for you. You don't necessarily LOVE doing it".
Ah, ok. Massive realisation moment. My understanding was that I should 'feel' the benefits and my impatient self wants to feel them immediately. This same part of me says: if this isn't happening I've got waayyy more interesting things that I can be doing with my time and I'll stay busy doing them thanks very much.
Just that I went into my session telling my coach I was too busy. Again. Well you have a choice she explained. In fact, there are three options according to Eckart Tolle and The Power of Now: 1) Leave it 2) Change it 3) Accept it.
Otherwise, you'll go insane....change it? But everything seems so essential. Then I took a step back (this bit I knew. I'd even read 'The Power of Now' a while ago and loved it, but hadn't implemented it. My impatient self overlooks this stuff at times). I'd just finished and was super proud and excited about my 90 day business plan nicely mapped out in front of me. The plan lights me up, it's totally me. But, but, but...it's crazy ambitious given the time I have right now. It's time consuming and to be honest I'm not sure I can carry it off with the resources I have right now, IN THE WAY I WANT TO.
Now don't get me wrong, I love a challenge. But if one of my philosophies in my coaching is 'Excel WITHOUT sacrifice' , this plan was inauthentic as it isn't achievable without quite a lot of sacrifice. Sacrificing weekends, doing less with my kids and husband, my hobbies, my friends and probably my health; sacrificing exercise, sacrificing time in the mountains... Ugh. I was starting to realise with massive clarity that it was time to re-plan and that WAS OK. So with a little re-juggle I'm in a better place. The goals don't feel too big, too small, but JUST RIGHT. They're exciting, not heavy. They feel right for where I'm at with my life with an active family right now.
Graphic courtesy of Headspace.com
So how about you? Are you happy, healthy and in reality about the Time, Energy and Resources available to you? Getting into reality is a fabulous place to start. Schedule out your whole week if it helps (google calendar is great for this). The best way can be to schedule your current week and then rejuggle to fit in the current desires. Then you know exactly where you are.
Living out of reality is insanely stressful. Like there's a constant battle going on in your head or your life. Once you have that schedule as the baseline it can become crystal clear what changes have to be made if you're going to maintain your sanity.
We could go deeper. Did you know high achieving, busy people often keep going almost to prove something? Which is essentially a self-worth issue: Ugh. That's something else I've sat with recently. I t's worth considering. Otherwise it's a pretty crazy cycle to stay in if we're oblivious. But more about that some other time.
So, I'm off to do my 10 minute Headspace meditation as I committed to with my cool coach. I promised her I'll do 7 days, then have 1 day off to see if that day feels any different. It involves sticker chart commitment! Anyway, it's well worth trying and it's a fantastic and initially free App and can be found here https://www.headspace.com/how-it-works.