How to navigate a midlife crisis and feel fit for anything at 40, 50 and beyond

I've had lots of thoughts and questions swirling around in my head recently.  I've been celebrating the big 50 and it seems many inner questions come with milestone birthdays. I can attest, the midlife crisis seems real!

Here’s some of the questions that have been swirling around in my head:

• what’s next?

• where do I belong?

• what do I really want in this imminent empty nest phase of life?

• what can I do now to maintain the physical and mental health and fitness I desire into the next decades?

• am I fit for everything that's important to me?

• if I continue on this trajectory, will I feel the way I want to feel in 10 years time?

  
  

Initially, my answer to many of these inner questions is "I don’t know". Yet, whenever a client replies with that sentence, we usually pause to check that’s true, because oftentimes deep down, they do know, just they haven’t taken the time to tune in deeply enough.

Did you know the average human being has around 6000 thoughts a day. 95% are thought to be the same as yesterday's and the majority negative. Hence, once we get stuck in a loop of thoughts, it can be very challenging to get out of it.

But what if you DID know? Imagine you knew the answers to all the important questions spinning around in your head? And you also knew which thoughts to ignore and how to quieten the repetitive ones down.

When I tuned in deeper, whilst I don't have ALL the answers quite yet, I do already know enough.

I’ll be taking some time over the next few months to tune in more deeply on the questions. For now I’m simply living in the now and accepting that the unknown is ok, even exciting. Despite my mind preferring to know exactly what’s next!

I’ll be staying grounded and guided with a variety of my favourite tools to realign including:

1. Grounding - walking barefoot on grass usually does the trick. Better still, swimming in the lake.

2. Browsing back over some old favourite reads such as The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle (a great reminder to stay present NOW, rather than getting over concerned about the future).

3. Journalling

4. Meditating

5. Spending precious time and enjoying and being fully present in NOW with loved ones and especially my daughter these next few months before she heads off to University

6. Moving - I’m a fidget so find movement is one of my most reliable medicines. I’ll be walking, doing pilates, yoga and hopefully lots of summer active stuff.

7. Spending as much time in nature as possible - my ever reliable, guiding soul-fuel.

8. Speaking with close friends

9. Speaking with my personal coach to help me navigate the challenging parts and the parts I can’t see myself. Blindspots are a real hinderance.

What I do already know is that it’s an absolute priority for me to maintain great physical and mental health and feel Fit for ANYTHING. So, I’m starting there.

I also know that I, and most women I speak to, not only want to feel great and confident in their clothes, they want their body and mind to function well so they are able to live fully too.

For me, feeling Fit for Anything this summer for me means hopping around on a catamaran, clambering across rocky coastlines and joining our active teens on unpredictable adventures. It means heading on long mountain hikes and short trail runs. It means having energy that lasts all day, with a clear mind that remembers the essentials - and what I went upstairs for!

This mental part is actually really important to me. I want to feel at peace through a phase of big transition. I want to feel content, yet clear, focused and motivated for anything I put my mind to. 

What does feeling Fit for Anything mean to you right now?

• Having enough energy and patience to play or hang out with your kids?

• Playing Tennis or running 5 k?

• Better managing stress so you enjoy easier and more fulfilling relationships?

• Attending less medical appointments?

• Completing the jobs without suffering with back pain for 3 days after?

Or, simply having the head space to tune into what you really need, as opposed to crashing with a glass of rosé (or your other drug of choice - eg. sugar, caffeine, scrolling social media) by 17.30.

Here's what I also know from personal experience and from hearing hundreds of women's stories:

Life is too short to feel paranoid about parts of your body that you don't like, or frustrated with the parts that seem to let you down. 

It's too short to worry you won’t sleep and will have a migraine tomorrow because you've had a glass of Prosecco over sunset. 

It’s too short feel embarrassed about the meno tummy, wrinkles and flabby bits, or that you can't keep up with your fitter friends.

It’s also sad to be anxious you've career ending arthritis or Alzheimer’s at 41. Both  are my story - thankfully neither were true because of what I did next.

I find by their late 30s, too many women feel like their body or mind are letting them down and hence aren't able to experience life the way they want to.

So how about YOU, how do YOU feel right now?

What's really important to you? 

What does feeling Fit for Anything mean for you - both now and in 10 years time?

I believe women can and deserve to feel fabulous into their late 30s, 40s, 50s and way beyond if they do certain simple things. Yet, sadly they often don't because they're either crazy busy or misguided by inaccurate messages about how to do so. Plus most of us take our dear body and mind for granted, until things don’t work as we’d like. Hello perimenopause, anxiety and pain 🙁

Given I'm now the other side of 50, my musings will hopefully become MUCH wiser! I like to remind myself of this because in many cultures the elder women really are respected in their communities for their wisdom. My hope is this attitude will shift in western world too, as the women I know are super wise souls and bring priceless value to families, the workplace - especially the boardroom and in business and indeed the world. 

I’m thankfully getting used to being in the 50’s club. It’s an incredible privilege and I know now I’ve got my head around it, it’s going to be awesome.

To your radiant health, incredible body and awesome mind, 

Sally 

Thanks for reading! Please do share this with any wonderful women you think might like it.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Sally Dibden is a Health, Life and Performance Coach to driven achievers around the globe.  She is the founder of The Wellbeing Consultants™ and HER Space™, a community dedicated to women’s health and performance. She also runs her Physiotherapy and Yoga and Pilates Clinic in France where she lives with her family near Geneva. Sally specialises in supporting and empowering dynamic women to optimise their energy, health, hormones and performance. Her ethos being that optimal success and happiness in whatever leadership role - whether that be as an entrepreneur, busy professional or executive, teacher or parent, comes from optimal holistic health. Sally has worked with thousands of patients and clients over her 25 year career as a therapist and understands the tendency of high achievers to stretch themselves. She helps her clients reach their potential with mind body balance not burnout, enabling them to enjoy and sustain their energy for all their ambitious goals.